Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
