would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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