you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
