I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
