zippers are such a cool invention
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
this hospital has no fireball
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
