There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
