Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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