I will die if light touches me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
