Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
