If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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