she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
