whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
