I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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