I think I died a long time ago.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
