Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
nutella sex= disaster
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
