Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
