Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
