HIV tests are more positive than that guy
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
