evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
