Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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