I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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