Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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