i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
