Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
