Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
