im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
