There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
