Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
