Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
