Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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