New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
