Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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