then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
