he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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