Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
