Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I AM VODKA MAN
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
