Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
