god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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