yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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