eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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