Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
