sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
