If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
