Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
