The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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