yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Congratulations! We have a period
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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