i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
