Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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