You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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