She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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